5;30 a.m. calls...

I am thoroughly enjoying the chance to substitute teach. It has given me a the chance to work with different ages at different schools. I have now been in classes from kindergarden (So exhausting!!) to 4th grade. It's been interesting to go into a classroom where you don't know the kids or how the rules are set up and try to be in charge. Some teachers leave great plans for me, which is SUPER helpful in making the day go smoothly. Others, however, not so much. Last week, I walked into a classroom where the teacher had left the day's schedule for me but no plans. I was stuck with two kindergarden classes during E.L. time with NOTHING TO DO!! Thank God for partner teachers!
The best class I have had so far was a 4th grade at Orange Elementary school. They were well behaved and actually helpful. I could ask them how their teacher wouild do something and they told me exactly how she did it. It was great! I also enjoyed the fact that they were able to work independently. (none of this "can you tie my shoe? can you wipe my nose?" stuff!!) I was supposed to sub for them again this morning... but things didn't exactly turn out.
(5:30 a.m this morning) ~RIING RIING~ I pick up my cell phone from the table next to my bed. I have to sleep with my phone always on now because who KNOWS what time the sub people will be calling... Yep it's them again. Well at least I have another day of work! It's a half-day job in the morning for the forementioned 4th grade class. Sure, I'll take it, they were good. I have to be at the school at 8:15 and will be done around noon. Sweet, I can sleep a little bit before I absolutely have to get ready...
(Somewhere around 6:30 am)~RIIING~ oh MAN! I JUST got back to sleep... The sub desk again... instead of a morning job they need me in the afternoon. Well that's fine. I don't have to be there until 11:30 so I can sleep longer. I rolled over and went back to sleep.
(What seemed like a matter of minutes although it was really a little after 9a.m) ~RIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGG~ NOW what?!?! "Hello?" Oh, I guess they don't need you today after all... sorry about that. So you're telling me that I was woken up 3 seperate times between the hours of 5:30 and 9 in the morning and I STILL have no job? wonderful! These early morning calls are starting to get on my nerves. PLEASE let me find a real job soon!!

We Remember

Today marks the 6th year anniversary of the September 11th attack which occured in 2001. Thinking back on that horrific day, I cannot believe it has been so long. I remember the day like it was just last week. I woke up that morning in my comfortable house in California, about to begin another day of school. I turned on the radio to listen to music as I often did as I got ready. The radio DJ was saying something about a plane hitting a building in New York, but they always play phone pranks on that station. I turned to another station just to be sure. Again, they were talking about it! I ran into the bonus room of our house and flipped on the television. Every channel was saying the same thing. A plane had been hijacked by terrorists and hit the World Trade Center in New York! I was in complete disbelief. This stuff doesn't happen... not here... not to us! We weren't at war. We were living our ordinary lives, going about the usual buisiness. I ran to get my mother and tell her the news. We ran back to the t.v. together to watch the coverage. Minutes later, the terrible news emerged that another plane had crashed into the buildings! Would this horror never end?! It seemed the whole world was going to end at that very moment. The pain people felt and the cries of terror and grief seemed to reach across the world. Firefighters, police officers, and civillians alike banned together as a human race to reach out and help in anyway they could. There was no distinction between race, gender, or beliefs. Everyone was simple a human being in need of comfort. An amazing swell of patriotizm arose in the nation. People wept when the National Anthem was played, it seemed even those who had forgotten God were turning to Him for comfort and understanding. It was like the country was waking up after a great slumber.
I look back and see this time that was terrible because of the lives lost and the pain suffered, but wonderfully patriotic. Although I knew that sense of patriotism would fade over time I wonder if people forget about the day for 364 days of the year and remember only on the anniversary. And will that eventually fade until we no longer remember at all? Was the time of turning to God only limited to times of tragedy? Will our Nation ever realize the need for the Savior who came and bled for them, or will it take another terrible occurance to turn them to Him? I hope that this is not the case. I hope we will remember...




"Ah! What a sign it is of evil life, when death's approach is seen so terrible!" ~William Shakespear~









"Men's evil manners live in brass; their virtues we write in water." ~William Shakespear~












"The heart bowed down by weight of woe to weakest hope will cling" ~Alfred Bunn~










The following is a song that I sang with my college choir right before the September 11 attack. We visited Ground Zero the summer of 2001 and there was a wall where we could write messages to families who had lost loved ones. I don't know if the wall is still there or if they painted over it during the construction... but these are the words I wrote:


O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee; I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow May richer, fuller be.

O light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.

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"I have learned to be content in whatever circumstance"

I have been thinking lately about my level of contentment. I find myself saying "If only I had that job" or "if I could just have a boyfriend" or "a little more money please"... then I would be truly happy and content. THEN I would be okay with where I was in life and what God was doing. I mean... I know God has everything figured out for my life and knows what is best, but couldn't he just give me a FEW more good things?
Then I started to think about Paul's writtings in the New Testament book of Phillippians chapeter 4 verses 11-13. Let me inturrupt myself for a moment. This is probably one of the MOST misused verse in the Bible. People take this verse out of context to make it mean that when they are going through a difficult time such as the passing of a family member or sickness or losing a job, they say "yeah well it'll be okay because I have learned to be content in any situation. I can do ANYTHING through Christ. I will get my dream job because I believe in God." This is NOT what that verse means. Paul was saying that even though he had been imprisioned for his faith, lacked the very substance he needed to live, he knew that God was in control. Please do not be the kind of person that takes Scripture and bends it to fit what YOU want it to mean. The Word of God is not here to make you feel better about yourself or your sin. It is not a self-help book or a way to make you love yourself more. It is a way for God to speak to your heart, show you (and me) the sin in our lives, and bring us to repentence. We do not bring meaning to the Bible; rather IT brings meaning to US.
ok... that was my soap box for the evening. So, having said all of that, why do I bring this verse up? I am not being persecuted for my faith in any way. And that is just my point. This verse has helped me put into perspective my so-called "trials" or hardships in life. So often (especially in the area of contentment) I find myself thinking that just having that one thing would make me content. Yet I look at people like Paul in the Bible, like Jonathan Edwards and Jim Elliot, like the people in India and around the world being persecuted for their faith-- all of these people did great things for the Lord with what they had. They did not sit around and wait for that one thing that would make life so much easier or better. They realized that God had blessed them already, and they were responsible to use that for His glory.
I want to be the kind of Christian that, instead of waiting around for the Lord to give me that dream job or enough money or whatever else before I start to work for His glory, to use what he HAS given me right now. I may not be at the job I want to be at for the rest of my life, but I am still in a position where I come into contact with unbelievers and I can have an impact on them for the Kingdom.
What are you doing right now, where you are, with what you have? Are you sitting around waiting for that perfect opportunity to come along before you make an impact for Christ? The world is dying and so many Christians are sitting around with the cure to this awful disease called sin in their pockets. We ought to be living every minute of every day with the mindset of being surrounded by walking dead. Without a relationship with Christ, your family, friends, co-workers, bosses, and neighbors are bound for eternal seperation from God. Be content with what God has given you right now, today and use it share the Good News with the walking dead you come into contact with every day.